sometimes I wish that I was a writer secondary. like I had done my life, lived my life, lived certain events, and then come back to write about them later.
because on the one hand I’ll sometimes put myself into new situations because I think I might gain something from the experience that I can write about later, but on the other hand I live in a fucked up reality where I think about events in terms of their narrative arc and how they could come together in an essay while they are still happening, and sometimes I base my choices on what my art can gain from it rather than what is the best choice for me.
i hate every capitalist i see
from bourgeois A to bourgeoisie
I just had the most emotional, therapeutic talk with my roommate that I may have ever had with another human being before because we both had a similar (though mine was comparatively less severe) thread and it was so nice to be understood and I could tell that she thought it was nice that I understood even if I couldn’t grasp it fully, I had some idea and could extrapolate from there and know how much pain she’s still in, and honestly it was really helpful in a way I didn’t know I needed and I can only hope she got something helpful out of it too.
After not going to the gym regularly for pretty much the past twelve months due to a plethora of excuses, some valid and some not, I got so out of shape it was ridiculous. It’s amazing how short a time it takes to undo over a year of fitness hard work. I lost ninety pounds and gained thirty back. The muscle tone in my calves disappeared because I quit jogging, and my neck pain increased because I stopped working on my shoulders and back. I felt sluggish and awful physically, which in turn put me in a really bad place mentally.
I have been to the gym three out of the past four days. Today I went 17 minutes longer and burned 200 more calories than I did on the first day.
As far as I know I haven’t lost any weight in the last few days, but honestly that’s not my priority. I should lose weight as a result of eating for my body and exercising it regularly, but that’s not my goal this time around. And not stepping on the scale every day, not judging my worth by that number, will probably be a much better thing for me anyway.
I’m tagging these as #diet cw and/or #exercise cw if you need to block, but honestly I won’t be making many fitness-related posts. The last thing I want to blog about while on the elliptical is being on the elliptical.
#SizeDoesntMatter Instagram Yoga Challenge hosted by @mynameisjessamyn and @yoga_davina
A little feeeeeenixxxxx #watercolor #watercolortattoo #watercolour #watercolourtattoo #watercolortattoos #watercolourtattoos #tattoo #colortattoo #abstract #abstracttattoo #fire #bird #birdtattoo #watercolorbird #watercolorbirdtattoo #phoenix #phoenixtattoo #watercolorphoenix #watercolorphoenixtattoo #electricink #electrumstencilprimer #phucstyx #hustlebutterdeluxe #hhorlandotattoo #thankful
tell me im cute then fuck me
I will not. I will tell you that you are beautiful. Then i will take you to the park and we will have an amazing time and mabe stare into eachothers eyes and kiss for a while. Mabe we will take some time and stare at the clouds while we hold eachothers hands. And then whem it starts to get late, ill take you home and wish you good night as I kiss your forehead amd say, “I cant wait to see you tomorrow.”